Ultimate springtime golf fitness tips for "real" golfers

By Tim McDonald,
National Golf Editor

For those of you unfortunate enough to live in the North, you must be salivating at the thought of the spring golf season.

Hold on, Tiger. You ain't the man you used to be. You can't just jump up and go straight to the golf course after a long winter of sloth and mold.

Now, you will find any number of charlatans willing to sell you their total golf fitness regimens. These sleazoids always assume you're a golfer interested in a cleaner, healthier way of living and golfing. I've seen you out on the course, and I know that's not the sort of thing you're "into."

So here is my total golf fitness regimen for the "real" golfer:

• For God's sake, you have to strengthen your core! This involves eating really hard food, like jawbreakers. Eat a bag of those and have your neighbor punch you in the gut to see if your core is all it can be.

Options: Month-old fudge, Purina Dog Chow, pine bark.

• You also have to really work your obliques, I mean really work the hell out of them. Here's the perfect exercise for that. Lie flat on your back with knees bent slightly wider than your hips. If you have really fat hips, you're either going to have to really stretch your knees like in a cartoon, like The Elastic Man from India, or just skip this exercise. In fact, if you have really fat hips, just skip playing golf, nobody wants to see you out on the course.

Now, you slim-hipped people reach your hands to the ceiling like you're crying out for the Lord Jesus Christ to spare you from your miserable existence. You can hold light hand-weights, or not. What do I care? Lift your head and chest toward the ceiling and rotate to reach both hands just outside of your fat, right knee. Repeat on the left side. Now, take a breather. Ask Christ for forgiveness.

• Breathing exercises: Breathing properly and deeply is critical, especially for those tense moments on the course when normally you would start crying.
This deep-breathing exercise involves attending your local adult movie house, or calling up one of those sites on your Internet browser. Follow your instincts. It's either that or follow mine, and then you're looking at jail time.
• Horizontal abduction/adduction: I can't give you much help here, because I always get "horizontal" confused with "vertical," and I have no idea what adduction is. Who came up with that word, anyway? It's a stupid word and should be eliminated from the English language, if it's even English.

• Standing hip rotation: Don't do this. It makes you look like a girl.

• Alcohol fitness: How many times have you lost $2 Nassaus because while you were getting hamboned, your playing partners were just holding up that bottle of Jack Black pretending to drink?

Well, no need to waste good liquor. You can still drink and maintain your competitive edge. You just need to build up a tolerance. Stand upright in a dark closet, with a wide stance, and suck it down. Keep drinking until your wife leaves you.

• Aerobics: Ha! Don't make me laugh. This is golf!

• Putting: Don't bother to practice putting. Putting in golf is overrated. I play golf maybe 200 times a year and I've yet to meet anyone who can putt. You either make it or you don't. If you miss, just keep putting until the ball goes in the hole. Simple.

• Seniors: As we age, our bodies react differently, so seniors must prepare for golf differently than young punks. An important thing to remember is that there is an inverse relationship of increased ear hair to laughably short drives off the tee.

So keep those ear hairs trim and neat. If you're proud of your thick mane of ear hair, don't sweat it. If you're short off the tee, you're probably small in other areas, and I think you know what I'm talking about.

• Excuses: A healthy psychological outlook is a must for Better Golf. If you can convince yourself that the snap hook you hit into the weeds over there is not your doing at all, you'll retain the confidence needed to excel in the game.

The first time you smack one of your all-too-typical lousy shots, turn to your playing partner and snarl," "Will you stop that!" Look at him, looking all hurt and everything. Who would have thought golf fitness could be so much fun?

• Torque development in the downswing: This is so important, I can barely contain myself. This is vital to any golfer who has ever wanted to improve his score. You could even say it is absolutely critical in terms of reaching your full potential as a golfer and knowing what it is to be truly human.

• Alignment and posture: Face the target squarely and stand erect, with your rump jutting out slightly. Feels a little silly, doesn't it? Can you think of another situation in life where you would position yourself in such an odd manner? I can't.

Dismal River Club Opens in Nebraska

On August 5, Jack Nicklaus will be in Mullen, Neb., for the opening of his 250th golf course design. The first 18 holes at Dismal River Club occupy a stretch of the Nebraska Sandhills. Though located thousands of miles from either the Pacific or Atlantic oceans, the rolling, grass-covered dunes accurately mimic the seaside links of Scotland and Ireland.

Dismal River is as unique as it is traditional, as minimalistic as it is cutting edge. With his pick of any of the property’s 2,900 acres, Jack chose the best 400 acres as the site for his first course in the state of Nebraska.

“The experience of arriving at the Dismal River site was like stepping back in time and seeing what the dunes of Northeast Scotland must have looked like a hundred years ago,” the Golden Bear said. “In every direction I looked, I saw great golf holes.”

Nebraska is the 38th state in which Nicklaus Design is represented, and Dismal River becomes Jack’s 208th solo design to go along with 30 co-designs and 12 re-designs. “We are extremely proud that Dismal River represents my 250th design,” Nicklaus added. “And I say ‘we’ because every design I have been involved in, even as a solo designer, was a collaborative effort between dedicated owners and a talented group of design associates and support personnel we have assembled at Nicklaus Design. We are also very proud of Dismal River. In this case the team consisted of Nicklaus Design, a passionate group of owners, and a lot of Mother Nature.”

Dismal River features a private 18-hole links-style layout that measures 7,600 yards from the tips and 6,700 yards from the member tees. Amenities include an 18,000-square-foot clubhouse complete with a “saloon” lounge, four bowling lanes, hunting and golf simulators, card room, pool tables, and a wine room. Fishing will be available during all summer months in either the Dismal River or one of the club’s four stocked ponds on the property. Upland hunting is available after the golf season.

Lodging is available on-site in early Settler-style cabins overlooking the Dismal River. Over 90 percent of the planned lots, which over look freshwater ponds and enjoy endless vistas of the Sandhills, are already sold. To enhance the secluded feel and pure golf experience, players will notice that all vertical structures, including the clubhouse, cabins, and houses are hidden from the course.

Future plans at Dismal River include a second 18-hole course, a nine-hole short course, an Italian restaurant, a spa and wellness center, and general store. On-site lodging will include 160 beds broken up into single-, 2-bed, 4-bed, and 8-bed cabins.

“I think our current and future members will be impressed with the amenities we have assembled at Dismal River, and it all begins with and revolves around our Jack Nicklaus Signature Golf Course,” said managing partner Bill Martin, one of the six Denver-based owners. “We are excited and proud to see what is coming to reality at Dismal River. To look back at what our dream and vision was a few years ago, and to see that dream taking shape, is a special and gratifying feeling to the partners and everyone involved.”

For additional information on Dismal River, call 308/546-2900 or visit www.dismalriver.com.

Women's golf team to tee off against Big 12 opponents in Texas

During the season-opening Chip-N Club Invitational on Sept. 10, Nebraska sophomore Kate White slipped on a wet cart path and hyperextended her knee.

Nebraska Coach Robin Krapfl said White didn't have time to fully recover in the fall because the tournaments were scheduled so close together. But last week at the Texas A&M "Mo" Morial Tournament, White produced the best finish for the Cornhuskers.

While the team placed 13th in the 15-team field, White was the only Husker in the top 25 individually. She shot a 79 in the third round, lowering her score by four strokes from the previous round and finished in a tie for 24th.

White said she wasn't able to perform to her fullest in the fall portion of the season, she but said she feels much better now.

"Legs are so important in golf," Krapfl said. "It's very tough to swing and be effective (with the injury), and we play 36 holes a day. It's very tough."

But Krapfl said White is swinging well and expects her to have a great spring season.

The Cornhuskers will return to Texas to compete in the Betsy Rawls Longhorn Invitational on Monday and Tuesday.

White, seniors Elli Brown and Allison Stewart, sophomore JC Stevenson and redshirt freshman Rachel Hanigan will make up Nebraska's lineup.

The tournament includes Big 12 Conference rivals Baylor, Iowa State, Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas.

White said the team used last week's contest as a learning experience for future tournaments because now the golfers know they can play tough courses.

The Huskers look to be in contention on Monday and Tuesday because they played well at the University of Texas Golf Club in the same tournament last year, White said.

The team finished ninth out of 15 and White finished in a tie for 31st.

Krapfl said the Huskers want to rebound from their last tournament performance, but at the same time she said she's not too concerned with last week's scores and finish.

"We played very poorly last year, too (in Bryan, Texas,)," Krapfl said. "It's just a very tough, tough golf course to play when you haven't had a lot of practice time outside. I still have confidence in this team."

Sajevic is New Golf Association President

Omaha, NE - John Sajevic, 51, of Fremont, has been elected to serve a two-year term as president of the Nebraska Golf Association, heading the Association's professional staff and volunteers. The election took place Nov. 16 at a Board of Directors meeting following the NGA's Annual Meeting at Lincoln's Hillcrest Country Club.

Sajevic replaces Bill Gottsch of Elkhorn, who completed his two-year term as president.

Sajevic is general manager of Sid Dillon Cadillac-GMC Truck, Inc. in Fremont. He began his service to the NGA Board of Directors in 2002, serving the last two years as vice president. He and his wife, Lori, have three children: Sara, Andy and Elizabeth.

A competitive golfer, Sajevic won the Nebraska Amateur in 1989; the Nebraska Match Play Championship in 1989 and 1996; and the Nebraska Four-Ball Championship with partner Knox Jones of Lincoln in 2002 and 2005. He was also named the NGA's Amateur Golfer of the Year in 1989 and 1996. He is a member of Fremont Golf Club and Firethorn Golf Club in Lincoln.

Roger Harms of Grand Island is the new NGA vice president, and will assume the presidency of the NGA board in 2010. He began his service to the Board of Directors in 1999.

In addition to the election of officers, four additions were made to the Board of Directors at the NGA's Annual Meeting. They are James Carney of Scottsbluff; Harris Frankel of Omaha; Doug Parrott of Omaha; and Jim Riley of Lincoln. These new members will serve three-year terms.

The four Board members who have retired are Art Blackman of Lincoln; Steve Doll of Scottsbluff; Tom Olson of Omaha; and Walt Radcliffe of Lincoln. Olson and Radcliffe will remain active on the Association's Past President's Committee.

The Nebraska Golf Association, founded in 1966, conducts the state's amateur golf championships, governs its member clubs, and serves as the handicapping and course rating authority for its members and its member clubs. The NGA has 26,000 members and 165 member clubs.

Nebraska Women's Amateur Golf Association 2008 Tournament Sites Announced

Omaha - The Nebraska Women's Amateur Golf Association has finalized the 2008 Tournament schedule. Mark your calendars and plan to play at next year's great venues. Please make note of the change made to the Match Play Championship dates at Norfolk Country Club. This Championship will now be a three day event instead of the previous four day format. The tournament will also feature a new event for 2008 called "The NWAGA Challenge." The event is a Four-Ball Match Play Partner Event that will prove to be a fun challenge for all playing abilities. Each two person team will play five 9-hole net four-ball matches.
Link here the 2008 tournament schedule.

NWAGA Spring Meeting To Be Held at Bayside Golf Course

Omaha - The 2008 NWAGA Spring Meeting and Executive Board Meeting will be held at Bayside Golf Course in Brule, NE on April 6-7. Registration will begin at 8:30-9:30 a.m. on Monday, April 7. The Board of Directors Meeting will run from 9:30-11:00 a.m. Lunch and a shotgun start golf scramble will begin at 11:30 a.m. NWAGA Representatives are encouraged to bring their alternate and two other NWAGA members from their club. Register before March 24.

The Nebraska Golf Association (NGA) 2008 Internship Positions Announced

Omaha - The Nebraska Golf Association (NGA) office has several internship opportunities available in 2008. The United States Golf Association (USGA) Foundation awarded a grant to the NGA, which will be used to support three internships through the USGA's P.J. Boatwright, Jr. Internship Program. This program was established in 1991 to create job opportunities for individuals with a career interest in golf administration, and to assist regional and state golf associations in conducting tournaments, junior golf activities, membership services, and other office responsibilities. Prospective interns should demonstrate strong managerial potential and sufficient interest and background in golf. Link here to view internship opportunities.